Cocaine Chic.
It's what I branded the cool kids to see if it would stick.
To say someone is cocaine chic doesn't necessarily mean that person actually does drugs, although it may hint at some hedonistic proclivities. Rather, it refers to a certain aesthetic you would recognize instantly. And I call it an aesthetic because it is--literally--an artistic movement.
Cocaine chic is about looking affluent, but totally disheveled. Effortless, but frantic. Eager to demonstrate how few f*cks are given. And of course, desperate to distinguish themselves, to find something "unique" to make part of their brand.
Very Unique.
I was at Matoska Trading Post sniffing loose-leaf and sweet grass when the person I was there with came to show me a buffalo horn he was considering getting as a gift for his friend. I noted that it would be a "very unique" gift. A moment of silence passed, then he began to speak.
"Unique is an absolute," I interjected. "I know."
While it's true that something can't be "very" unique, I still like to use the qualified version ironically. It's like a private, pretentious little joke with myself.
In the quest to find something "very unique," it seems that the cool kids have collapsed into the same cultural chimera: think Winona Ryder 90's-era nihilist grunge, the slow-burning early-2010's hipster thing that refuses to quit, and a bit of Holly Golightly-esque materialism and crippling neurosis.
At least, as far as I can get a reading on them. I've always been somewhere between nonthreatening and anonymous, someone whose presence is tolerated but not sought after, which you would think would make me a great student of coolness. However, cool kids always seem to keep you at an arm's length. In the few instances I have been on rides with a cool kid, I've felt vaguely like a Sal Paradise who has just gotten in the car with a Dean Moriarty. They might be a lunatic, dead inside, or a magnificent, colorful hero. And those things certainly aren't mutually exclusive.
On Fleek.
In 2010, during one of the first conversations I ever had with Mike, I had cupcake frosting smeared on the front of my dress and tied my sweater around my waist, backwards like an apron, to cover it. I was not cool. I had a Taylor Swift poster in my dorm room and wore American Eagle camis. I listened to Paul Simon and the Twilight soundtracks.
Mike was cool. He wore $50 t-shirts, desert boots, and rings. He listened to DJ remixes of other DJ remixes of obscure electronic indie songs. He had cool hair, a cool girlfriend, and a cool car. He had opinions, but did not share them, which back then was the hallmark of cool.
I honestly had no idea why he wanted to hang out with me, but I hopped in shotgun and went for a ride with a cool kid. The next couple of years there were stops at lomography stores and bonsai gardens and organic markets and trendy coffee shops with only three orderable items. There were links to cool songs and a mix CD or two. There was one horrible Guatemalan patchwork jacket I test-drove way too seriously on my own quest for uniqueness.
And then I had an original thought: what if hanging out with me is so NOT cool that it's cool? What if I'm part of the brand? What if I'm just the key to unlock the highest hipster badge available?
I don't know. I don't care. I try not to think about what I mean to them. When it comes to cool kids, you treat them how you would treat anyone else. You enjoy them, love them, seek to understand them, show yourself to them. After all, despite their best efforts, they're just human.
If you feel jealous of someone cooler than you....
It helps to imagine the conversations they have with the photographer before they take those awesome Instagram photos. "Get one of me. Long ways. Okay take another one. Make sure you get my shoes. Take another one. Okay now one looking away from the camera. Take a couple more."
Epilogue: "Chill" as an adjective
I should note, there is an entire subgroup of cool kids, the "chill" kids, who are the ultimate pedigree of human. "Chill," which at some point became an adjective, refers to a personality trait, whereas "cool" is more of a cultural savvy. Chill kids, with their constrained emotional spectrum and indifference toward the actions and opinions of others, are extremely likable social chameleons. They can adapt their interests and personalities to any group they happen to be in. It's a remarkable thing to see.
