"I am funny dammit!" she cried, and an awkward silence ensued

The time has finally come....
Or maybe the time is long overdue.

For me to take my first foray into the world of the time-wasti--I mean, blogging. If you tab me religiously on the facebook, you know I had started a blog-of-sorts using the notes application but deleted them all unexpectedly when I got accused of brazenly oversharing.

Wha?

You mean we don't live in a world where it is perfectly acceptable, nay, encouraged to document and publish every worthless thought we have for approximately 1,542,769,457 internet users worldwide to see and ridicule (I googled that number, not ashamed)?

No, we definitely still live in that world. And I intend to be a hugely annoying internet presence, because I, for one, think I am very funny.
Hilarious.
I crack myself up. All the time. 
And I have to do my best to assert that I am effing hysterical because I am flanked on all sides by people who are much cooler than me.


There's little bro, who is some kind of all-star athlete 6'7" mutant baby.

Not to scale

And big bro, who has a sucky personality but is a super legit graphic-novelist prodigy and looks like this:

More pretentious model-shots of big bro looking ansgsty available upon request

And then there's me:

and these ones capture my essence well, I think:

To get the spaz look instantly and cheaply, look serious and add pink sunglasses

So you see the problem. Humor is really all I have to fall back on. I fancy myself to be a perfectly mediocre singer-songwriter (visit www.reverbnation.com/brettannlalli to hear somma my jams), but I hardly plan to make my livelihood playing music. The most money I've ever made from playing music was $11 in tips at a farmer's market in Park City, and $10 of it was from my dad, who was only there because he didn't want me to drive up the canyon alone*. 

*The Yetti currently resides in Lambs Canyon, and sometimes he comes down to the highway on his Vespa to snatch unsuspecting post-adolescent girls out of their shiny red Nissan Versas and sprinkle their guts into his afternoon tea


Speaking of my parents, Matt and Andra (I call them by their first names to assert my adulthood), they are pragmatic, good-looking, salt-of-the-earth kind of people who only ever had two expectations of their only daughter:
1. Don't be a pretentious know-it-all (sorry Mam but I really DO know everything!)
2. Be a good Mormon (shit damn ass-balls, I have failed as a daughter)


I suspect that they don't really have a lot on me to brag about at Matt's firm parties.

"Well, erm, yes we do have a daughter. She's at school in LA doing...things and stuff... She used to play the cello when she was 13!"

Yo Yo Ma-rvelous circa 2003

I think my parents love me like Hagrid loves baby dragons. Knowing they will take the rap when I destroy a village someday but for now they love me because I'm misunderstood and kinda sweet sometimes.


I also should say somewhat concerning my beautiful friends. My friends, friends, magnificent friends! Who have stuck with my through thick and thin in the hopes that I will DD for another weekend or because their name is Joyce Lee!

(I will now insert a stream of pictures of my darling friends doing funny things and being darling because they speak for themselves) 

Library-ing with Joyce

Fro Yo with Tehya

Sexy Loungey time with Miles

Spicy Halloweener with Mel and Kel, respectively

French Bread Walkie Talking with Joyce

Cheeto Puffs/Crack with Kai

Hypothermia with Katie G

Vday with Gregory

Being a super Jew with Evan and Molly

Celebrating our nation's birthday but really just wanting to be watching nerd movies with Lexa

Pretending to be a mop/hiking with Joyce

Having some kind of a fiesta with Jake

Looking mostly civilized with Danica Nicole Moran

Showmancing with McKail and Eric

Playing salon with Jack and Lizzy

Partying really hard with the Accidentals

Growing mustaches with Miles

Getting some unprotected UV exposure and most likely cancer with Margeurite

Crazy volcano raw fish-munching with Lakyn

I think that's probably enough for now.


Stay tuned for some more really shunny fit.